The conversation pre-dialysis:
JB: What are you doing on your iPad, Honey?
SS: Looking at pretty pictures of stitching and puppies.
The conversation post-dialysis:
JB: What are you doing on your iPad, Honey?
SS: I'm managing my brand across multiple platforms by optimizing the key demographic response rate by engaging the core constituency of my message.
(And no...before you ask...I haven't one single solitary clue as to what any of that meant, but getting out if bed today (as compared to yesterday) is comparable to getting into a 1971 Ford Pinto with three wheels and a cinder block carrying a trunk full of match books to climbing into the cockpit of a Virgin Atlantic super sonic jet loaded with champagne and Jeffrey Dean Morgan impersonators.)
Holy. Crap.