A TALE OF THREE TUESDAYS

 

Bosco:

My Aunt CJ gave me lots of cookies and I chased the chipmunk and I barked at the birds and I dranked water and tooted and then we went byebye in the car and I saw lots of dogs and cats and my special friend Miss Nekka cut my toenails and then we went to the McDonalds my very favorite and I had a cheeseburger with pickles but I couldn't play on the playground and I had a french fry but I don't like them and then I almost upchucked on the car seat and then I came home and watched cartoons and went to sleep.
Stewey:

My efforts to civilize this pathetic little family unit of mine go un-noticed and underappreciated.  After a quiet breakfast of tea and toast and a brief perusal of the Times, I set about trying to organize the day in a fashion befitting my inimitable sense of style.  I had hoped to book an appointment with my regular nail technician and sneak a mini facial and massage into the visit, but alas, we were relegated to attending what is uncharmingly called "Toenail Tuesdays" at the pet medical centre.  I found it extremely...undignified...all of that yapping and queueing like commoners.  And to be summarily hustled into a room and then chopped and dismissed without so much as a calming soak in a pedicure tub was just too much.  I indulged my little cousin with a brief trip through the local drive-through establishment, but would have surely preferred a lively little puttanesca and a whimsical Merlot instead of the "Happy Meal" that he wolfed down while bemoaning the lack of playtime in the monstrously colored plastic play space.  I checked on Mo-ther, snoring away in the big girl sleigh bed, donned a fresh smoking jacket, and settled in for a lovely evening with a novel and a little sherry before retiring.